Symmetry in a mess
by h2oxygen
Summary: Kid needs Blair for something, but what? and where does Soul come in this story? Not what it seems like, Yaoi KidxSoul, rated for Blair's perverted advices and Kid actually following them and... later chapters :D please R&R thanks!
1. Beginning of a mess

"Blair~ where are you?" Kid hollered. "here~ kitty kitty kitty, come out come out where ever you are". Kid sighed. He had spent half of the day searching for the said cat. He wished he could call some of his friends to help him, like Black*Star with his enchanced five senses or Maka with her soul perception ability, but it's just too risky. What if they end up knowing what's his problem? As a last resort, he yelled "OOHH LOOKIE! THERE'S A MOUNTAIN OF FRESH FISH OUT HERE WITH NO ONE GUARDING! WHAT'S THIS? A CARD THAT SAYS THIS IS FOR BLAIR THE CAT!" In 5 seconds flat, with a poof and a "WHEREEEE'S THE FISH?", tadaa, there's Blair.

"Sorry Blair, I lied" Kid said sheepishly. "What? Why?" Blair asked with a sad face. "I've been searching for you, urmm.. I need some help, and only you can help me with this" Kid said before he turned away, a blush evident on his face. "Awww~ a shinigami's feeling naughty today~" the magical cat purred. "What! It's not like that! I need some advice on how to seduce, that's all!" Kid yelled and then he realized what he just screamed is more embarrassing than what Blair accused him. The pink-faced death god turned even redder before he grabbed Blair's hand and ran away from there. Thank goodness he wore a hoodie and sunglasses today. At least people won't know it was him

"So what's up if needing my help?" Blair asked after he stopped running. "E..Eermm.. Are you a.. a..a fujoshi?" Kid asked, still red faced from the incident before. The question caught Blair off-guard, as she IS a closet yaoi fangirl. Oh well. "Well, yes actually, but how does me being a fujoshi relate with you needing advice to seduce someone?" Blair asked. She just couldn't make the connection. "Well… if your advice for me works, you could maybe just have a direct source to yaoi." Now Kid's face was officially burning like he has a fever. "Oh.. so you're gay? Yaayy~ I get to see Yaoi action live! " Blair practically danced with happiness. "So who's the lucky boy? Don't tell me, it's Soul right? You guys are so cute together! :D "Blair was now really officially yaoi-high on the possibilities of what she could be seeing. "Whaa… how did you know? Kyaa! Is it obvious? Please tell me it's not that obvious /!" Now the seriously burning with embarrassment shinigami have tears streaming down his cheeks. Somehow, he looks so cute and helpless, perfect to be an uke for Soul, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA. Blair shook her head. Ok, her thoughts are officially insane.

"Relax, let the mistress of seduction teach you on how to make the boy's nose bleed every time he thinks of you" the seductive cat comforted him. Said boy calmed down after hearing her said that. "Uhhmm… just so you know, no telling anyone else I like him, kay? And, urm…only my father knows I like him, other than you, not even Patty and Liz knows" Kid told Blair. "Oooh~ at least the troublesome part of telling your parents are done. Good job!" Blair congratulated him. "*sigh* after I've been so cold to him, father would've tolerated anything from me just to have his 'cute, darling, adorable Kid-chan' back… urggghh" he shuddered at the nickname that his father had given to him.

"Ok Kid, so here's the plan. I tell you how to seduce him one at a time. If it doesn't work, I'll tell you another way. We'll keep doing this until he IS in love with you." Blair instructed her new disciple. Kid just nodded. Blair bended down and whispered something into Kid's ear, and his expression changed, first to shock, then to embarrassment. "B-blair-san, are you absolutely SURE this would work?" the shinigami couldn't be sure. How could something so humiliating endear him to his beloved? "Relax, try it first and see. Even if it doesn't, there's more than a thousand ways to seduce human" Blair said with a wink.

Author's Note: Dun dun dun~ What did Blair tell Kid to do? Tune in to the next chapter of this story :D. Please review and comment and tell me how to improve. Maybe there's something wrong with my writing? A typo? Or maybe you just want to rant? Or maybe you have some suggestions for me? Thanks in advance and thanks for reading!


	2. Plan 1: PE time

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters duh~ If I did there would SO be more fan service in it.

Today Kid's class has PE. The shinigami doesn't really like PE, as he is lazy, but he knows that exercise is essential to maintain a healthy body. Kid's classroom consist of both meisters and weapons, like him and Patty and Liz and Soul and Maka and Black Star and Soul and Tsubaki and Soul and some other people and Soul. ….. NO he is NOT obsessed with a certain weapon. Why would he be anyway? Soul 'Eater' Evans is a total asymmetrical mess, nothing about him is attractive when he is not perfectly symmetrical. Ok, he's handsome, he's hot, a nice guy, real funny, can turn Kid on anytime, can play the piano damn well, the only death scythe his age, the youngest one and a thousand other accomplishments. Your point is? Too bad he belongs to Maka. Oh well, the Thompson Sisters are already a handful to deal with.

Speaking of class, it's already starting. He's really looking forward to the class finishing because then he can go home, lounge around and be perfectly lazy in a symmetrical and perfectly divine place, namely, home. And then he can also carry out Blair and his….plan. He blushed at the thought of how extremely perverted the plan is. Nevermind, anything is worth it for Soul. And so while Kid was ranting on and on in his head, Soul and Star was sneaking up behind him. "BOO-YAA! THE GREATEST MAN ON EARTH IS HERE!" "IMMA DEATH SCYTHE I WANNA EAT A SHINIGAMI'S SOUL MUAHAHAHAHAHA" Kid just turned around and say "Ohh~ I totally didn't hear you guys laughing and shoving each other from across the whole FREAKIN' GYM".

"Sounds like someone needs to be more mature" scoffed Black Star. "Oh please, I can't believe I heard that coming from someone who didn't experience puberty yet, eats Happy Meals for the toys and stuffs crayons up his nose" Kid retorts back. "How did you know about the crayons ? I thought I told Tsubaki to not tell anyone else!" the so called 'Man' recoils back in horror. "I didn't, I was just making it up, but seems like that's true " Kid can't help but smirk at Black Star's newest statement. As for Soul, he was already rolling on the floor with laughter at the part 'didn't experience puberty yet'. "Bhahahahahahhahaha gawd you can't…hehehehe… be se..hahahahahahahaha serious right Black Stahahahahahahahhahar it can't all be true especially the hihihihihihihihi crayons part oh hahhaahahhahahaha you're killing me over hehehehehehehehehhe here" Soul attempts to stand up but it seems that his knees are still weak from laughing too much.

[After PE is done]

"Man I hate it when the teacher makes us go on outdoors activity, my PE Kit always end up all bloody and stuff" Kid sighed while saying this. At least he earned around 16 new souls for both his weapons. "Hey, it's pretty fun ya know, rather than stuck at school playing football or something, we get to collect souls so our weapons can upgrade, we also get to sneak into food restaurants if Sid's not watching, we can run homeandblahblahblah" Black Star drawled on. "Black Star, I think we get your point, so shut up. I wanna sleeeeeepp…. Kid carry me to the bath stalls thanks" so saying, he just went and flopped himself on Kid. "Whaa… you lazy ass go by yourself I wanna bath and I appreciate it if you're not watching" he shoved Soul away, gently, mainly because he knows using shinigami strength would result in a bloody mess. The first and last time he was bit by Soul on berserk mode his hand was left practically, well, ribbons of meat and skin. "Nuuu~ I'm feeling affectionate today" and he actually trapped Kid in a tight embrace and rested his head on Kid's shoulders. "I wanna join too~ I want some of Kid's love~" "….." Great, now he's trapped in a very big and hard to escape hug complimentary of his two best friends.

"Let me go. I want to bath now and I'm fucking stripping now" so saying, Kid took off his shirt, but slowly and teasingly eventhough he has a faint blush on his cheeks thanks to Soul clinging on him. Thank goodness for the stripping tips from Blair. He was almost done taking it off before he stopped and lowered his pants halfway, revealing his boxers, before he stopped yet again and took off his shirt properly. Then he looked down and said "Well? Not letting go?" Kid looked down to see the sight of Black Star already asleep and Soul looking away from his body.. oh okay…wait, is he BLUSHING? OH MY FUCKING GAAWWDD MY CRUSH IS B.L.U.S.H.I.N.G. AT THE SIGHT OF ME STRIPPPPINNGGG OH EM GEE! Now his head is full of crazy happiness and thoughts. He pushed Black Star and he came off easily. He tried pushing Soul, but surprise surprise, the boy ran to a faraway bath stall and slammed the door.

' why the fuck is Kid so cute today did he figure out I liked him ahhh I can't even oh shit please not damn damn damn stupid cock go limp you I'm telling you to go limp oh gosshh his stripping was like a pro omigosh my nose its bleeding my cock its erecting my me is all scattered around ahhh god why must you be so cruel ahhh!' Soul was hyperventilating in the bathroom stall now, and the fact that his shorts are painfully tight is not helping. He whimpered as the painfulness is too much. In the end, Soul just gave up and took a bath while waiting for his stupid penis to go down. Thankfully, after the shower was done, he was clean and his problem was gone.

To Soul's surprise, Kid was actually waiting for him, and just wearing a towel. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck now his lower regions are starting to get hot as well as his face. He turned to run away before Kid caught his arm. "Why did you run just now? Was there something wrong?" Kid asked with a concerned look. "Nuh…uh… OH LOOK IS THAT A NUMBER EIGHT I SEE?" after yelling this, Soul ran outside…in his bloody PE Kit, people. He ran and ran and ran to his home, thanking anything that should be thanked that PE's the last period.

Kid just blinked and watched Soul running away. Afterwards, he went and dressed himself up in a perfectly balanced black shirt and shorts and went to find Blair. Kid found Blair at a very predictable place, his room. "… Blair, why are you in my room?" She was taking a nap on Kid's bed, of all places too. "I wanted to know how far off are you guys before you guys make out and have sex and I get to watch hot live yaoi action" she purred to the young shinigami. "Uhmm… your plan sorta worked and sorta didn't." "How? Tell me, in details please and thank you" "Finee… geez.. I stripped like how you taught me to, and then suddenly he ran to a bath stall, then when I waited for him in just a towel he blushed and ran away" Kid told her excitedly. "Great! This means I can start the next plan!" Blair said while giving him a devilish smile. "Blair… please tell me it's less embarrassing than this one." Kid whimpered. "No way, I'm going to make you so cute with this one" she grinned before casting a spell on him. A black cloud surrounded Kid and before he could protest, the effects are already done. "How could you, Blair! Of all the spells to cast, why this one ?" Kid wailed.

Author's note : So here I am wondering why most of the yaoi stories are done at really weird hours like 1 to 4 in the morning. WRITERS, Y U NO SLEEP NORMALLY? Exam's coming but I'm obviously not giving a fuck while writing the stories hahahaha. If you guys review, I promise to upload 2 chapters every week, and maybe more for when my brain farts ideas by the thousands.


	3. Blair's spell

"Why? Why cat ears? And a tail to match! Why can't you give me two tails? Then it'd be balanced! Waaahh !" Kid was now practically bawling at Blair. "Shuddup if you have two tails you'd be one of the blessed Nekomatas and I'm NOT letting you be one before me D: " Blair practically scowled at Kid. "But…. Now that you have cat ears and tail you must know how to behave like a cat right? Heheheehehehehehe" Now she was cackling while making the scary planning face that freaks everybody out. Kid knows her enough now to know that he should run FAST out of the room. He was already running and was halfway before he got caught by Blair's seemingly elongated arm. Still cackling, she dragged the neko shinigami behind her, screaming.

[The Next Day]

"Man I hope I don't run into Kid today" Soul mumbled by himself. "Wozzat? I can't hear you over how awesome I am" Black Star said while putting one hand behind his ear. "Nothing~ That's for me to know, you to find out and nobody else to care" Soul replied. They continued to walk down the hallway while still bickering at each other. Stopping at their classroom, they're surprised to see a lot of very cute and pretty girls a disturbing number of boys outside their class, mainly good-looking too, and all looking love struck. "Whazzup Kilik? Hey there Fire, Thunder" Soul asked his classmate and greeted his weapons who can't get in and high-fived the two said weapons. "It seems that there's a new fan club gathering here…. a VERY disturbing fan club too" Kilik answered. "What fan club? Nothing can possibly be better than looking at me, the greatest man on Earth" said Black Star while striking a majestic pose.

"I bwet ef youw awwe maiwd off chowcowwate, youw'd haff eatwen youwsheff baw naww [I bet if you're made of chocolate, you'd have eaten yourself by now]" Thunder and Fire said simultaneously. "Hahahahahahahaha! Nice one! And this is one of the reasons why I love you guys!" Soul said while giving another high-five to them both. "It's a fan club for… Kid. It seems that yesterday while helping Blair, she accidentally casted a permanent spell on him" Kilik explained. What can the spell possibly be? Too curious by now, Soul became a human bulldozer and mowed down everyone who's obstructing their road to go in the class. Only Kilik wasn't curious as he had seen Shinigami-san's son before he went inside the class. The others are also drawn to know what just was the effect of the aforementioned spell.

Following Soul's track was easier than fighting their way in by themselves, mainly because everyone cleared when they saw that Soul's incinerating anyone who's in the way with his super sharp human fangs. Not even sharks and prehistoric life forms can compare to the sharpness of the Evans family's teeth, and it seems that Soul's is the sharpest in the family history, and that's saying something. But now even the mightiness of his sharp teeth cannot help prepare for the shock they all experienced from seeing as to why all the good-looking people are dazed looking.

"Ki-Ki-Kid?" Soul stammered. "Um yes actually, why did you call me Soul?" Kid responded with a cute blush on his face. He was wearing a black sleeveless hoodie with cut out spaces on the hood for his new ears, and he's wearing shorts again today with new black army boots. The outfit, chosen by Blair of course, was actually complimenting his cute shota look, which is surprising, considering the fact that he's not that much of a shota. Now though, he looks like every fangirl and fujoshi's wet dream come true. Blair already told Kid to play the part of an adorable shota/uke as best as he could. When questioned, she just replied "You want to be loved by Soul or not? Yes right? And do you need my help? It's indispensable right? And by asking me to help you, you already agreed to do all my plans without hesitation nor complaints." Not to mention that she did THE face again while saying that. Kid sighed at the memory. Well, now he knows better than to do deals with demons or people who are 'sexperts'.

As for Soul, he doesn't know which is worse, the fact that the person he didn't really want to see is now in front of him or the fact that his face is really red and hot or he can feel a nosebleed coming fast or the fact that now his pants are starting to get painfully tight and it's gonna be pretty obvious all thanks to said too attractive for his own good person. He really didn't think that Kid, already adorable as he is, can get even cuter than humanly possible overnight. Then he remembered that Kid's a god of death, duh. In times like this, he really regretted the times he spent with Black Star and porn. Kid, seeing that Soul's face looks like he has a fever, bended over and put his forehead on Soul's. Now this is really testing and tempting Soul. Damn, he wished Kid and he are alone now. Then he can close the narrow gap between them and make Kid scream in oh so many ways.

He backed away almost instantly and Kid, the very stubborn person that he is, kept coming forward. They continued this weird dance until Soul suddenly turned and ran to the WC. Kid chased him and pounded on the stall's door while yelling "Evans! Soul Eater Evans! Come out now! ". Soul's nose is positively bleeding now. He's pretty surprised that he's not dead from blood loss yet. After trying a few more times, he gave up and went to his weapons, the Thompson sisters.

"Kid! You're so cute, like a real kitty! Meow~ " Patty yelled while running to hug her beloved master. "Gyaaahhh! Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Kid screamed. He usually isn't scared of being touched by them, but after getting the spell casted at him, he felt scared whenever anyone other than Soul and Blair made skin contact with him.

"Blair, what have you done?" Kid wondered aloud. "Nyaaa~ nothing~ other than making your body recognize me and Soul as "safe", which doesn't count, I didn't do anything :3" Blair said, popping out from a random closet. "FU- wait did you NOT make my dad as "safe" either?" he asked her. "I didn't but I can add one more person if you want" she responded. "Nah he's really UNsafe and hazardous. Good job Blair." Now Kid was positively smiling. No more being harassed and being called weird affectionate terms by his dad. Yes, he can get used to that. Blair slipped away while symmetry boy is still happy from the thought of being dad-free.

"Psst, Soul, over here" she whispered to scythe boy. "Good, I was just waiting for you. Have a seat, please choose, the electric chair or the potty chair?" Soul was grinning his crazy grin while gesturing to said chairs. NOT GOOD. "Uh, I prefer to stand, ta ever so. But really Soul, it seems that cats really do like you, hee~" Blair said while smirking, then running away. "GET USED TO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTIONS!" she yelled while trying to get to a safe distance from a would-be insane Soul. While he's puzzling over what she just said, she's still feeling smug from knowing a super essential fact; Kid's going to be in the heat next week, meaning his body will be wanting sex, even if his brain doesn't know it. She rubbed her hands in anticipation to the showdown that's to come.

Author's note:

I tried putting big words in this story now, so you guys can learn while having fun :D and 'sexperts' is an original word created by me, so do NOT use in in essays if you do not want to be killed by your teachers XD If you guys want, I can slip some Japanese too other than well… Yaoi associated terms anyway. Yes, I have an obsession with hoodies. I LOVE THEM! Ta is just a short form of thank you, commonly used by the Brits. I'm sorry that I didn't upload chapters for a long time, but my mom confiscated my laptop T^T I'm NEVER writing these on other computers, if anyone else found them it'd just be plain awkward.


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